Smiles, happy hearts and a lot of sun.

4 days ago I arrived in Pattaya, Thailand and I could give you a million reasons why these were the craziest 4 days in my life. I have met a lot of new people, I have seen things I had never seen before (not always as positive as I would wish for) and I went from freezing temperatures in Holland to tropical heat in Thailand. So far it has already been a great journey and I am absolutely sure my time here is going to be wonderful and teachable. 

The coming two months I will be volunteering for the Tamar Center (http://www.tamarcenter.org/nl ). This is a center which is located in the heart of Pattaya, a Thai city known for its sextourism. Pattaya is full of bars where prostitutes work to sell drinks and their services. It doesn’t work the way we are ‘used to’ in the western world, behind windows or in a non public environment; you walk through a small street and all you can see is girls girls girls. And then in between some western men. It all happens out in the open, and in numbers you can not imagine. The center thrives to be a beacon of hope for the girls who work in the bars. The Tamar Center offers English classes, outreaches in the evening where we have conversations with the girls, give banquetparties where we buy the girls for a night to have a fun night with us and we give them the opportunity to build a new life without prostitution by learning a new job like hairdressing, work in a bakery or restaurant, sewing and computers. I will be working with all these projects and next to that I’ll also be helping out in the nursery for one day a week. The nursery is for the young kids the women in Tamar Center have. One day a week I’ll also be working with Thrive Rescue Home, which is a home for children who have been sextrafficked. I haven’t met anyone yet from this project, so I can’t really tell anything about this yet!

This weekend was super busy, because I was meeting new people all the time and getting to know the culture and the people. It was supernice though, and I really enjoy being in a different country and culture again. Thai people are really kind and humble, totally different than the dutch direct and ‘cold’ culture. In my DTS I learned a lot about different cultures and I really treasure these experiences because it gave me a little bit of insight on how different cultures see the same thing so differently. So I love being able to spend 2 months in this new culture and especially being able to learn from them! Next to meeting the Thai staff from the Tamar Center and the Thai girls in the program, I also met the other volunteers. At the moment there are around 7 other volunteers here at Tamar from Holland, Australia and America, and it is really good to have these girls to talk with and share experiences with.

Monday Nelske (another Dutch volunteer here at Tamar Center) showed me around Pattaya. She showed me the two bases of the Tamar center where I’ll start working this week. They have two main buildings, one is situated on 3^rd road, which is a normal street and the other one is at soy 6, which is a street full of bars.  There’s a bakery/café on 3^rd road where the girls sell food and where they make cards and jewelry. These products are sold to raise money for them and the Center. We had lunch at the café with pastor Jim. He is an American retired pastor who comes down to Thailand and other bordering countries to teach and to love on people. He is a true man of God who shows Gods fatherheart by his actions and his words. It was really encouraging to hear how he got saved and got radically changed by God from being a drugsaddict to being a pastor on fire for Jesus. He reminded me with his testimony that God can transform lives if we let Him and that was a great encouragement in this place where hope seems to be gone.  

After lunch I went to Soi 6 for the first time. As I said, Soi 6 is full of bars where girls sell their bodies. In the midst of all these bars, Tamar Center has a building with a hairsalon, a room for English classes and a prayerroom. It was overwhelming to see the bars in the street and I still don’t really have the words to describe how I felt. Disgusted, because I can’t imagine the horrible feelings these girls must have. Questions, to the guys visiting the girls in the bars but also to the girls working there. Sadness, that something that was created to be so special and beautiful is being sold like a cheap product on the streets.  I had expected it to be hard, and I had prepared myself for it to be confronting, hard and challenging. But being here, seeing it with my own eyes and feeling the atmosphere around the bars is just so different then imagining it.  Way more confronting, harder and challenging then imagining it. And then this was only 1 single street  I saw at 3 pm. Imagine the whole city at 11 pm….

But while I was writing this down and overthinking the first impression I got and the feelings that came with it I realized I am not here to feel disgusted and sad for two months.  I don’t want these feeling to discourage me or make me angry. Because that is not going to help. Instead, I want these feelings I have to motivate me even more to reach out to these beautiful ladies. And by my actions and words, show them who God is and how much He cares. So yes, it is really hard and confronting, but I really want this to challenge me to remind myself why I am here. Not to change the world, or even change lives, but to impact lives. And then God will do the changing. ;)

Tuesday was my first real workday and it was amazing! I started working at Soi 6, where I taught English to 8 girls working on this street. Their English was pretty good compared to some Thai people who really don’t understand a word and they were really eager and fun students! Besides that they were willing to learn they are supersweet, kind and fun to talk with and laugh with. Just before dinner we had a short time for outreach and Annelies, Pi Oh and me went out to a bar to talk to one of the girls working there. We talked to her for half an hour about her background, why she’s here, her family and her wishes for the future. What really surprised me today in all the things I did was how open these girls are. They don’t mind you asking where they come from, how long they’ve been here, why they’re here and if they like this job. That makes it very easy to have a simple conversation with them, and also to sometimes take it to a deeper level. Although the language barrier gets in the way of the deeper level.;) That’s why it’s really positive that the Thai staff joins us on outreaches and is always around to translate.

I have one more thing that happened today I want to share with you. The first few days I was really thinking about the usefulness of Tamar and especially if it has any effect. Someone at the airport said to me: ‘isnt it like drying the floor with the watertap open?’ I started thinking about this and started to feel a little discouraged. But today I got totally blown away by a few simple words by a beautiful Thai lady said. I had never seen her before and suddenly she was sitting on our couch in our Soi6 building. She was telling her story to Manouk, a Dutch volunteer. I didn’t exactly hear what she was saying, but I did understand that she was thinking about joining Tamar, which would mean that she would leave the prostitution behind. She was really emotional and telling Manouk that she wasn’t happy. Another volunteer arrived and this Thai woman next to me says; ‘I sad, my life not good.’ These 6 words did so much with me. (for the dutchies: het ging door merg en been) Anger and sadness because the pain she was and has been going through was so visible and a tiny bit of happiness that she was brave enough to admit that she was not happy with her job. Half an hour later I sat down next to her again and talked to her for a little bit. Her English wasn’t so good but this is basically what she said: ‘Before I had the money, but my heart not happy, now I am not going to have money, but my heart is happy.’ It was so incredibly touching to see how one decision made her whole heart happy. This was such an encouragement for me. It’s not about saving the whole city and making it ‘clean’, but it’s about  the individual lives that get radically changed. And these changed lives will impact other lives. If Tamar Center wouldn’t be here, this woman called Pi On wouldn’t have had the opportunity to make the decision that would make her heart happy.

Wednesday (tomorrow for me) we are organizing a banquetparty! This evening we get to buy the girls for a night and treat them on a fun night out. This way they won’t have to worry about their barowners, cause we pay for them, and they won’t have to worry about clients, because they’ll be having fun with us.

The past few days have been a rollercoaster, but certainly a good one. The one that shakes you around and takes you up and down.  I definitely have had my downs in the form of questions, emotions and struggles, but they were always followed by an up in the form of a conversation, an appoinment with someone, a word or sentence someone said or one of the million beautiful smiles in Thailand. And I guess that's going to be the image of the rest of my trip. Its not going to be easy, but I know a God who redeems and who frees and that's where I get my strength from. And that strength makes my heart happy :)

If you want to be praying for me you can pray for: - clear guidance – courage to step out in faith – courage to trust God – divine encounters – protection – hope in this city!

Thanks for following me and praying for me, I really appreciate how you want to be a part of this trip with me :)

God can change lives.